Forrest is 200% correct here and generally online gaming is known to cause low self-esteem.

From what I've seen until now, you're a really smart person. This means you clearly can make some changes on your life. The point is to go and make them and not to hesitate.

sorry for turning this into a pity party tho i'll stop now

Forrest

get to work on what we talked about and stop being so down on yourself. nobody enjoys a pity party, you need to get motivated on making some changes in your life.

and don't you ever let me catch you saying "esports" again

but... thats literally what the club is called...

i was playing really horribly in some random practice games and i tried to leave just to spare myself the embarrassment and my coach was like 'is it because those guys are on your case so much' and i told him no even though it was definitely a large part of the reason and he chewed them all out and made them apologize and it was obviously super fake and now i just feel like im a mess and i try to hide that fact from people irl and i guess im failing at that

get to work on what we talked about and stop being so down on yourself. nobody enjoys a pity party, you need to get motivated on making some changes in your life.

and don't you ever let me catch you saying "esports" again

i pretty much embarrassed myself to all the esports dudes that already didnt like me that much so thats fun

idk why people like reading this stuff i guess its to be like 'hey at least im not this much of a mess' or something but i feel like such an embarassment complaining here but it helps a little i guess idk

im really setting a high bar with these complaints god im so pathetic

and my parents are gonna yell at me constantly for the stupidest things and im gonna have to go to church and its all just so annoying

i'll have 0 reason to get out of bed or my room period and i doubt i will leave it almost ever

winter break is coming up and im gonna be stuck with my family for 3 weeks and i dont know how im gonna survive it

and then i get out of bed and do fuckall

its becoming pretty normal for me to be in bed until 4 or 5 pm and i only get up when my phone dies and i need to charge it

its such a struggle to get out of bed when i have nothing to do when im out

ugh ive felt so horrible the last few days and i just dont know how im gonna shake myself out of this

daily song is Always by Saliva

XFire1994

occasional jiro art for friend ginga

omg cute

occasional jiro art for friend ginga

also got out of bed at 4pm again haHAA

Ally

love you

love you too

love you

no sarcasm here daddyo

Voice

this is such a good read

idk if ur being sarcastic or not because im dumb but nice im glad u enjoy my stupid teenage angst

this is such a good read

wish i was dead

or happy

one of the two would be nice