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onion thread

schutzekatze
almost 10 years

Everybody loves onion threads. Post here and I'll write a satirical The Onion article title about you.

It helps if I know you, but I'll probs come up with something based on your profile if I don't.

Fav pie
5
apple pie
3
blueberry pie
2
strawberry pie
1
raspberry pie
deletedalmost 10 years

i already know mine
xJuicy
almost 10 years

schutzekatze says


xJuicy says

I love onions.


"What initially seemed revolutional, adding onions to your juice seems only to provoke vomiting."


Thanks I feel like I can work with this.
deletedalmost 10 years
it's true.
schutzekatze
almost 10 years

mist says

hi pal


"mist complains she can't get enough eboyfriends because Epicmafia profile customization is too frustrating and limited to perfect her profile aesthetic."
thecolonel
almost 10 years
This is my favorite thread
deletedalmost 10 years
hi pal
Sincerely
almost 10 years
you misspelled shitpost
thecolonel
almost 10 years
Bravo
schutzekatze
almost 10 years

thecolonel says

Lol!



expose says

*volunteers*


"expose announces Ian is a perfect repacement for her as a mod, saying his shitpos- forum posting skills are absolutely fit for the position."
GuyFawkes85
almost 10 years

schutzekatze says

"GuyFawkes has announced he has a clear plan for how to fail in winning a trophy in the next comp round."


Lol, I even have a backup plan, if the first one seems to go bad :P
schutzekatze
almost 10 years

xJuicy says

I love onions.


"What initially seemed revolutional, adding onions to your juice seems only to provoke vomiting."
xJuicy
almost 10 years
I love onions.
obhatton
almost 10 years
Go for it.

You know nothing about me, good luck.
schutzekatze
almost 10 years

Sincerely says


schutzekatze says


thecolonel says

Accurate af.


tbh the only thing I know about you is that your name is Ian, lol, so gimme a sec.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


"EM is in shock after Sincerely forgot to apologize for winning a game.
She has also asked mods to ban her to let others know that she's sorry."
Sincerely
almost 10 years

schutzekatze says


thecolonel says

Accurate af.


tbh the only thing I know about you is that your name is Ian, lol, so gimme a sec.


hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
schutzekatze
almost 10 years

trolleyz says

im nervous cause i prefer blueberry pies too...


"denial's psychologist says his therapy was successful after he finally complimented another EM user."
expose
almost 10 years
*volunteers*
trolleyz
almost 10 years
im nervous cause i prefer blueberry pies too...
deletedalmost 10 years
hi
thecolonel
almost 10 years
0 for 1 there
schutzekatze
almost 10 years

thecolonel says

Accurate af.


tbh the only thing I know about you is that your name is Ian, lol, so gimme a sec.
schutzekatze
almost 10 years

Japter says

hi


"Cambridge university expelled a student after he falsely claimed he studies there to get a prominent position on Epicmafia."
schutzekatze
almost 10 years

Rutab says

none of the pies


"rutab experiencing a mental breakdown after learning his soulcow is not on Epicmafia."
thecolonel
almost 10 years
Accurate af.
schutzekatze
almost 10 years
I'm writing in the order I come up with them.