I'm a bi male, 18. Coming to terms with my sexuality was hard. I had dated only girls until my sophomore year of high school. This jewish guy and I connected and became close and opened up about our trauma and had a typical guy friendship. One time when we were high I got kind of touchy with him, I don't know why and he didn't stop me.

My hand went into his pants and he was nervous but we started making out. It was weird for both of us in hindsight but we talked it through and eventually dated. I told everyone I was gay when really he was the only guy I had ever felt attraction to.

He moves away, we break up and low and behold I hook up with a lot of guys but don't feel anything. A girl likes me and I gave her a chance and when we made out she was shocked at how hard I was because she thought I was gay.

I went back to girls and people said 'he's in the closet' or 'he dated a man for attention' or 'he's in denial'.

I met a guy in tenth grade at my school and fell in love with him. He had never kissed anyone guy or girl, and I managed to get with him after slowly falling in love with him. I broke up with my girlfriend and went back to liking a guy.

We broke up, I hook up with 2 more girls, hook up with a random guy and kinda like it, and now i am conflicted.

I have probably found about 3 or 4 guys in my life attractive. Most of my hookups were to see if i was gay. Meanwhile I've liked so many girls.

Especially since i don't look or act gay, it's hard for me to feel like I belong to any community. A lot of my guy friends disowned me after I came out, except for one who asked me for head after I told him I had a boyfriend. I complied and he still kinda texts me to suck him off sometimes and I oblige because he's my friend and I guess I kinda like sucking .

TLDR; being bi and male and not a stereotype is hard