You're a spectacular guy and you deserve nothing less than the absolute best. Life can be a big clusterfrick of ups and downs but you're a strong guy and I know you can make it through. Love ya.
that sounds downright awful. love you my dude, stay strong
deleteddeletedover 8 years ago
That combined with work turning from alright to just kinda hell is just making life miserable. Luckily my depression has been under control and my anxiety too, and I've had to do a lot of to fix that. A lot of my life has been in turmoil and I have a tendency to rely on the internet and people on here when im down, and I know sometimes I come across as a jerk or im rude, and most of the time i genuinely am trying to just lighten the mood because I genuinely dont want to hurt anyone. A huge part of my anxiety is always me hurting people I care about, and it is something i will need work on for a long time. I'm not perfect but I try to be nice and caring no matter how much itll never make sense why people enjoy me. I give this site a lot of crap but all of it is tongue in cheek, I wouldn't be who I am without it, just because it definitely helped me grow as a person. I love you all genuinely, and im sorry for ranting but this is a thread named Dean's thoughts and these are my thoughts.
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deleteddeletedover 8 years ago
I will get to fixing will and roasting JP but first I need to actually get serious.
As some of you know, I have a bunch of mental issues, nothing too specific other than a lot of anxiety and depression issues, and of course almost everyone knows I am autistic. I've also been battling a ton of family problems the past like over 6 months now. My father left my family and ran off with his mistress, leaving my poor mother in really rough shape and my sister in rough shape as well. I was pretty much left to pick up the pieces, and I've been able to focus on work and school to distract my mind almost, but recently more stuff has happened and me nor my little sister are even on talking terms with the guy. He's my own namesake and it is a damn shame to see someone I genuinely looked up to just turn into kind of a monster. My mother tried so hard to make me and my sister to have a relationship with him. Now it's turned into my poor sister having meltdowns and my mother going through depression, once again leaving me to have to carry them both. My father and I always had a weird relationship. He cared much more about my sister but he cared about me. It's just awful to see him just turn into someone that instead of trying to change the terrible parts of themselves. It's gotten to the point where I just cannot handle being home, and with my father sorta around I actually sometimes dont even feel safe at home. It makes me want to move out. Like I said he is even my namesake. My username is deandean because I'm Dean Jr.
God this fat POS. I genuinely hate everytime i wake up just for the fact that means that the person in the mirror is still alive. The only things keeping you running are copious amounts of self grandiose and an unhealthy amount of food. You think you are the best, and you are so far from it. Everytime anything happy happens to you, you take it to the extreme that it makes people want bad things to happen to you because at least then you are tolerable. You have no sense of fashion, the only reason why people like you is because all you are is a joke. Nobody likes you for your personality, because it's so fake and just disgusting to be around. I hate every inch of you from head to toe. Honestly Kurt Cobain yourself.
deleteddeletedover 8 years ago
I haven't really talked to you much other than the fact you might have seen me on the orange line once, and the fact that boston traffic is the worst thing imaginable. I enjoy you, but just have not had much conversation, so I don't know what to say. We talked more when you were jessicutiee.
