Epicmafia

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

It's funny that you mention butt-plugs, sonseray, but that's a story for another time.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

Skepticism

I'd now like to take you to perhaps our most important memory in the development of Peter.

Peter is delivering a pizza to a notoriously risque hotel on the outskirts of the city; the kind of place where champagne bottles fill hot-tubs as men fill other men.

He steps cautiously up to the door before dusting pizza crumbs off of his work jeans. Three knocks, and his other father stands in front of him with a ball-gag plastered to his facial hair with spittle. Nothing more than shameful eyes and a dropped pizza and then blackness.

Peter attempted to pursue a career in law with his savings. He studied harder than he ever had and some nights were wasted with crying and procrasturbation. Undertaker posters littered his room-- ball-gags painted onto their faces before apparently being torn-down and repurposed into Kleenex. When he made it through university he swore to himself that he would find his True Father's heart-traitor and make him suffer. But he couldn't do it alone.

Did you insert the butt plug before or after you finished writing this?

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

Something needed to take the edge off of the harsh reality.

Kelly you'd be surprised what these men did to each other after a few cheap bottles.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

You thought I was the ref or something but I'll smack you dude I don't care

GrigioGirlabout 9 years ago

Skepticism

where champagne bottles fill hot-tubs

they would not order pizza hut there is a major flaw in this story and i am not with it.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

Skepticism

I think Peter is finished with this narrative.

The small excerpts of your essays I bothered to engage with read something like Hunter S Thompson between the fifth freebase binge and the first shell to the brain

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

Recidivism

Skepticism
I think Peter is finished with this narrative.
You need to learn brevity

There are just so many things to convey. It's truly exasperating. I wish I could continue.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

Skepticism

I think Peter is finished with this narrative.

You need to learn brevity

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

I think Peter is finished with this narrative.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

Skepticism was definitely my underdog I'm still waiting for the rope-a-dope

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

I'd now like to take you to perhaps our most important memory in the development of Peter.

Peter is delivering a pizza to a notoriously risque hotel on the outskirts of the city; the kind of place where champagne bottles fill hot-tubs as men fill other men.

He steps cautiously up to the door before dusting pizza crumbs off of his work jeans. Three knocks, and his other father stands in front of him with a ball-gag plastered to his facial hair with spittle. Nothing more than shameful eyes and a dropped pizza and then blackness.

Peter attempted to pursue a career in law with his savings. He studied harder than he ever had and some nights were wasted with crying and procrasturbation. Undertaker posters littered his room-- ball-gags painted onto their faces before apparently being torn-down and repurposed into Kleenex. When he made it through university he swore to himself that he would find his True Father's heart-traitor and make him suffer. But he couldn't do it alone.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

I'm sorry to see Peter not fight back. I feel like I'm watching Ali phone it in

GrigioGirlabout 9 years ago

Please don't make fun of Peter.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

If we're going to make fun of Peta, let's do the whole he delivered pizzas thing again. That one hasn't been rolled out in a while

Petaabout 9 years ago

Leave me alone.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

Sometimes when a joke isn't that funny to anyone but you you just need to kill it

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

As Peter entered his primary years he simply couldn't grasp the concept of social interaction and who could blame him? He had seen the polarizing behaviors of "impregnable dad fortress" (a game played in a pillow fort" juxtaposed against a usually empty, modern, East-Coast condominium.
>It's noteworthy here that makeshift games of House would be created with whatever inanimate objects were nearby.
Peter's grades and status remained average as ever. If you were to ask him of his ambitions or aspirations he would tell you of an amazing sedan that he could use to bring joy to people and preferably through the delivery of food. Chasing the dragon of filling two voids from a young age sets us up for the transition into Peter's greasy teenager years: he manages to land this position of Delivery Driver on his own. He'd studied for years, after all.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

Peter was the conception of two evils: the hateful jackhammering of his True Father, and the original sin of dadful philandering. With nothing exceptional about his physical features of emotions our story begins with his most unusual conception.

An -child is not something to be trifled with. While I said he was not particularly exceptional, one might find it peculiar that his mentality began to devour itself. A thirst for paternity is a thirst indeed... and soon he would turn the tables so that it was his own True Father in the highchair.

I'd like to take you to a memory as early as 1-year-old and 7 months. Peter's dads are standing almost completely on top of one another near a bistro table in the kitchen. Peter is vying for attention but the consistency of the gyoza dumplings are apparently more important.

-Peter attempts to show his True Father a crude soy-sauce fingerpainted napkin, he wails as the sound of two deviant-hyenas eviscerate the dinner setting with their primal ritual-

"Doddy I made you something!"

And now we hear sounds that can only be described by how you feel after inhaling water during a snorkeling-session, yet the water is thicker and somehow all wrong.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

I just want everyone to know that I've paid for 3 years of college without delivering a pizza so far. non sequitur.

GrigioGirlabout 9 years ago

u right

Petaabout 9 years ago

GrigioGirl

Peta
If the joke isn't funny in 2012, continue to make it, over and over again, for many long years, until it still isn't funny.
I have a joke from 2010...i bet you're wondering what it is

Be very careful.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

I'll definitely need some time to procure this.

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

I want to see a tape of that dude fighting his dad

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

i want to hear the joke from 2010 and also the entire life story

deleteddeletedabout 9 years ago

If I'm going to go through the trouble of writing an entire life-story of Peter and his dads sexual "quarrels" it's certainly not going to be inspired by rotten fruit.

Sometimes you need to sit back and let other people explain how they feel so that you can make more educated decisions about your own life.

Sense of Humor Thread