>ides of march 44 bce >be julius caesar >be going to the senate >remember some homeless soothsayer guy told me not to >eh.fresco >show up at the senate >this assh*le cimber tries to get my attention >wont shut up about recalling his dumb brother from exile >tell him to f*ck off for now >cimber grabs my toga and pulls me down >tell him what the f*ck, this is violence >this other assh*le casca stabs me >jupiter f*ck that hurts >now everyone starts stabbing me >why >see my buddy brutus in the crowd and try to call out to him >he comes over and stabs me too >betrayal.fresco >ask him what the f*ck >he says “i’m sorry caesar. it’s not that i loved you less, but that i loved updog more” >wat >ask him “brutus, what is updog?” >all of the assassins burst into laughter >just got murdered by my best friend and also fell for his terrible joke >should’ve listened to that soothsayer >mfw
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