In the short time I've been here on EM, I have made a few observations regarding the standard life-cycles of an EM player. I will record here my findings thusfar:

Player #1 - "Interesting, but not for me" : Joins EM > Gets yelled at for being a stupid noavi > Stops playing EM

Player #2 - "Too much, too fast" : Joins EM > Constructs uber profile and friends list in less than 1 hour > Play EM constantly in the next 48 hours > Not enough attention > Stops playing EM

Player #3 - "I have a bf/gf! Woop!" : Joins EM > Gradually works up games and decent profile > Gets a person to fall madly in love with online > Intermittently logs onto EM to talk to- and play their favorite setups with said loved one > Never leaves EM and never meets IRL

Player #4 - "I'm gonna be the best trollollol evar" : Joins EM > Troll > Eventually gets banned/bored > Repeat with new alt

Player #5 - "Seriously, don't f*** up my stats" : Joins EM > Gonna get the best score evar > Spends more time yelling at people in ranked games than playing said games

Player #6 - "Social butterfly" : Joins EM > Makes friends in unranked games > Spends time on random profiles > Skype a lot > Spends time on the forums... a lot > Coup d'etat on chat > Never leaves EM

Player #7 - "I am God" : Joins EM > (Try to) Become mod > "I will rule all of EM" > Never leaves EM

Are we simply here to follow these cycles, or will someone, someday, break this cycle and deliver us all into a new brilliant era of EM?

(This research has been conducted independently and without bias)