Why this site is a literal joke.

juneauover 11 years ago

Lucid could've made this site a cash cow, but "m-muh medical degree" and "muh time!" clearly kept him from doing this. There's literally no reason other than pity to actually buy coins for this site. Profile customisation/custom role icons/avatars are literally free lmfao. Even crappy forum websites like gaiaonline, reddit, and 4chan have a way to make money. I mean seriously, if reddit can sell leddit gold, how is it that epicmafia can't make an income? For those of you who are not familiar with the "benefits" (XDXDXDXDXXD) of reddit gold, visit: https://www.reddit.com/gold/about Even an idiot would've invested money in the graphics for this website; hired someone from deviantart or something for a thousand dollars or so to make cards (i.e., http://i.gyazo.com/dd69586d5db2ce763e64c3015f264c0e.png) for each of the roles and sold them for EM coins; and updated the flash layout for the actual game. Actually I'm pretty sure Lucid was making good money before the adsense BS but he's too cautious to actually invest in this website (i.e., advertisement, mobile app) before finishing his residency.

There is no learning curve from Sandbox > Training > Competitive, and there never was. Everything being unlocked with the point system is hilarious. People don't step out of their comfort zones and you get people with 15k points all of which are earned from red heart training games who never play a single gold heart game, and you get people with 1500 points playing comp games who have no idea what they're doing. You can literally make a tiered lobby where say, the top 50 players during a round get access from Training to Bronze; the Top 50 players from a Bronze round gain access to Silver, etc. At least this way you'll get people who arent completely clueless to actually care about the competitive scene. But nope instead you get the site split with people crying about how merged lobbies is a dumb idea and other people ****posting about how tiered lobbies didn't get enough players.

Then we have trophy winners, who are pretty much either Cheaters or people who are a part of the trending circlejerk at the time of the ongoing round. You can probably count the number of people who actually deserve their trophies for all of the rounds combined with both your hands. If you aren't cheating, you probably won't win gold unless you have:

  1. Friends who are willing to throw for you
  2. Friends who are willing to GRS for you
  3. Friends who are mods who will look the other way/unfairly close reports against you/unfairly refund hearts for you

For example, look at TheOnlyJazzNation1, a tier 4 mediocre player at best. But because he has friends like Petermh who are willing to throw games for him, and friends in the mod circle who are willing to literally ignore reports against him because of "foul language" or some other excuse, he actually gets a good shot at a pixelated trophy to make up for the lack of actual achievements he has IRL.

The biggest joke has to be that this website is actually threatened by a fedoracore basement dweller, aka ABC, who's probably a 20 year old fat loser who can't get over the gripe of being banned on a flash game website. Oh yeah, we also have petricigy (or was it riotkiller) who actually made it so that you can't swear on this website without it losing its adsense revenue (LOL). Let's not forget that the competitive scene has been in the toilet for nearly 2 years now thanks to the punjab autist named pranay.

I'm going to give this website another 5 months before it burns itself out. I'm actually surprised that EM has made it this far. I joined in 2010 and this site has had 0 improvements besides some new roles, where maybe 2 of them have actually been used in competitive games that aren't meme tier setups which are only run once; and 2 new icon styles lmfao. Maybe EM will get remade by someone who can actually run a website after it dies.

blankover 11 years ago
don worry chiaki nanami is here to save the day
deleteddeletedover 11 years agoedited
BearGuru
Harrold
Hibiki
Harrold
Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?
That's Hand Soap. they're in a bathroom
Separated egg whites.
that mixture you get with corn starch and water


Come.
Hibikiover 11 years ago
im gonna spam the epicmafia forum with LEWD IMAGES

*posts wikipedia image: human semen in hand*
1
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
Harrold
Hibiki
Harrold
Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?
That's Hand Soap. they're in a bathroom
Separated egg whites.
that mixture you get with corn starch and water
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
Hibiki
Harrold
Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?
That's Hand Soap. they're in a bathroom
Separated egg whites.
Kawaiiover 11 years agoedited
satan would be like riddler
Hibikiover 11 years ago
Harrold
Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?
That's Hand Soap. they're in a bathroom
1
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
Kawaii
Satan
BearGuru
If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2
mod bear guru and satan. u won't regret it
i get the impression you'd be like riddler if u were a mod
me or satan
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
Also why have they still not deleted my post on page 3 of the cumshot?
Kawaiiover 11 years ago
Satan
BearGuru
If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2
mod bear guru and satan. u won't regret it
i get the impression you'd be like riddler if u were a mod
Hibikiover 11 years agoedited
a was a moderator of a runescape clan forum at like 12 and i decided to delete some spam bots who spam p0rn in the applicants section and my dad caught me and told me that i cant moderate that forum if i have to do stuff like that. anyway that's what i think of whenever someone says "mod bearguru"
1
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
Satan
BearGuru
If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2
mod bear guru and satan. u won't regret it
like seriously. I think I would be fantastic, as would satan.
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
They already have Jackhammer on the mod team for their token youngster.
Satanover 11 years ago
BearGuru
If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2
mod bear guru and satan. u won't regret it
Kawaiiover 11 years ago
Kawaii
BearGuru
If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2
pls mod this guy
also he's a complete viable choice to mod so ???? why havent u guys modded him :|||||||
Satanover 11 years ago
Harrold
Also, can mods delete every post on here unrelated to the OP? This thread was actually awesome.
i agree
blankover 11 years ago
hi :p
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
Also, can mods delete every post on here unrelated to the OP? This thread was actually awesome.
Kawaiiover 11 years ago
BearGuru
If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2
pls mod this guy
Hibikiover 11 years ago
hes still posting in the lobby chat
Satanover 11 years ago
i'm throwing my name into the ring guys. mod me and i will rid the world of abcdefg1
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
If I were mod I instantly ban them after number 2
1
Kawaiiover 11 years ago
ughhhh
deleteddeletedover 11 years ago
Seriously though, that was some absolutely hopeless moderating just now.
Satanover 11 years ago
nuke the forums. code red code red