I could have continued being quiet about this, but Lucid's forgiveness over Riotkiller made me realize I may have a slight chance of hope. I don't know how this will change things, but if this is my final moment on EM, so be it. I feel bad enough as it is. What am I talking about? Most of you who have played games with me know me as the all around nice girl. I usually have the typical cheer when I enter some games and have been blessed to made a lot of friendships on here. Many of you must be wondering where I am going with this. Well, I feel like I'm not the person I was before on EM. I have been playing on this account for over a year and I am even a favored mentor with constant requests. I have dedicated my time here teaching others how to play, shining light and feeling great being this persona. I know this is who I am now. But, I still had some regret within me over something I did two years ago on this site.

You see. I joined this site actually on August or December of 2010. I was a college bookworm with no interests in social interaction. EM was my social outlet but it got out of control. For you newbies, I played the setup Classic Mafia over and over until I got so good at it my winning percentage skyrocketed to 1st place on the highest winning percentages. I became so obsessed with it, that with the constant bullying from EM due to my easy way of reaching the top, I cheated by multiaccounting for two weeks when I hit third place and was caught after I said something rude to Girallon or something like that. I cannot remember his username exactly. I was pardoned for this but rather than you asking questions, I can just give you the answers. The 2nd banning was due to calling Petri a mild autist and telling Laexio to slit his throat. Yes, graphic. I was so heavily upset because I was constantly bullied on this site and I received a violation that I felt I didn't need and I lost control.

I never bothered trying to get unbanned because I thought I deserved it. I moved on with my life and didn't play for a year. Then, I came back but decided that, like my own psychological transformation, I needed a clean slate. I created Seraphinite.

Hence, yes, I have been ban evading for a year. Yes, I have messaged Lucid about this. Why come forth now? Because even if this gets me banned or worst comes to worst, you cannot tell me I am Terra anymore. I think my actions on this site for the past year say otherwise. As a friend, active mentor, as a committed EM player who comes on just for laughs, help, and advice.

Now onto why I am confessing this and making this thread. This is for Laexio.

For Laexio, this one is probably the hardest one to say. I hated your guts for the longest time. You not only outted my personal info to EM but you made my EM experience an absolute hell. Then, you made bullied me constantly as a mod. I assumed it was for my past outspoken Christian views and opposing views on homosexuality. The reason does not matter either. I am apologizing to you because I do not harbor this intense hatred for you anymore. No matter the wrong you did to me it does not justify my graphic ill-wishes on your being. I hope you could forgive me for this and I also would like to be your friend.

If I could get anything out of this, it's that I've made a life with new friends and potential other ones. I discovered that kindness goes a far longer way than attention. I think when I was Terra I was crying for attention because I was ignored at home and didn't have many friends. Now, as an adult and university grad, I see life so differently. People I've confessed this to would say they would have never guessed it was me just because of how different I am.

Yes, Lucid knows. I spoke to him prior to posting this.